Warning: The following post contains lots of random thoughts and brain farts.
I have a problem. My problem is that I feel like I'm always waiting for next step instead of living in and enjoying the moment. My children are young and fun and I'm trying to not let it pass me by while I wait for my life to be "settled." I think that I feel unsettled because I don't know where I want to live the rest of my life. I like moving... but more than that, I like the thought of being settled, putting down roots, and staying put for a very long time. Here comes the morbid thought part of my post: I don't know where I want to be buried when I die. I like the Seattle area, I'm from here, I live here, but I don't think it is where I want to live for the 50 years. So what happens if I die? The most logical thought would be to bury me in this area, right? But if I die, would Justin stay in this area? Probably not, so, if he moved somewhere else and ended up living there for the next 55 years, thats probably where he'll want to be buried, right? Not up in Seattle with me. Totally random thoughts, I know. I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon, it is just a weird thing I think about sometimes.
So, in my quest to feel "settled," I often find myself not enjoying the present. Life is passing by so quickly and I am afraid I'm going to look back and wonder why I didn't take the time to enjoy it more. Before I know it, I'm going to have teenagers on my hands and wonder where my babies have gone. We've been here in the Seattle area for FOUR years now. It seems like we just left Utah, moved to Eugene, and then moved here. Nope, its been the fastest four years of my life.
So, my pledge is this: No worrying about where life will take us in two years. I need to focus on now. Right now, I live in a wonderful area, my daughter goes to a fabulous school, my husband has a very secure job that he enjoys, and I get to spend hours each day spending alone time with my buddy Cooper. Life is good... I'm going to enjoy it!
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4 comments:
I'm so glad you posted this! I hate moving, but like change now and then. I too agree that I want to enjoy my time now with my kids because it's true, with a blink of an eye, they'll be grown and it will all be gone. I don't want to have regrets. Thanks for the post! You worded it much better than I would have. It's a great reminder!!!
ahh this was nice to read, I often feel unsettled too because I feel so guilty about raising the kids in NYC and we miss you and all our family in WA. I think about having my kids grow up near grandma's, grandpa's and cousins and it makes my heart hurt that we are all alone over here. Crap, now I am going to cry :(
on a happier note your brother took his GMAT test to get into Grad school to get an MBA and he did good so he is frantically applying to buisness schools to try to get in for January, I am happy but 3 more years of school and practically raising Carter and Theo myslef makes me a little bummed but it will be better in the long run..hmm sorry for rambling so much.
XOXO Carissa
I agree 100%. There are days that just pass me by or I spend all my time planning the next event. Sometimes I need to stop, take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.
We are going to St. George this year for Thanksgiving. We do every other year. I think my parents are going to Park City. I think you should come for Christmas....
Lena Here:
I can TOTALLY relate to your ponderings!! Luckily lately I've felt more content. But I hear ya! I can even relate to your thoughts about were to be burried... Not sure about where, but I can relate.
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